Provocative Advice for Testers Who Don’t Know What to Do!
Q1. DEAR EVIL TESTER…
I want my developers to respect me and the work I do. I’ve tried learning the programming language they use but this takes time and effort. What’s the easiest and/or quickest way to gain respect as a tester? from Andy
Dear Andy,
Thanks for asking this really important question. In fact it’s so important I’m honestly going to give you real tools to deal with this situation. No joking around. No messing about. This answer provides “therapy on a stick” for the common tester.
I’ve heard the ‘respect’ cry since I started testing. I still hear this type of question asked at conferences and testing events so I’m sure plenty of testers are reading your question and nodding along. “Yup, I don’t get none of that necessary respectful neither”.
I too found myself caught up in that tester hysteria. I felt the way I imagine you might be feeling now. Poor poor pitiful me.
But I got over it. I gave myself a healthy dose of sane juice to stop that delusional thinking.
You can too.
But before I explain how, I need to mock you a little first. I don’t want to mock you, but its mandatory. I don’t enjoy mocking you, but I took an oath. Claiming ‘respect’ victim status means that I have to trigger your self-respect defense mechanisms.
Think. Now. Have you got a skill? Any skill?
When someone comes up to you and says “Hey, I tried to learn your skill but I found it quite hard, it took too much time and effort so I stopped – do you respect me more now?”
What’s your first instinct?
And mind your language.
Stop using that word. Respect is a woolly, ambiguous word. It spans the spectrum from “being nice” to “I’m almost in awe”. You don’t mean it. You don’t want it.
Are you ready to defend yourself and tell me how my behaviour showed evidence of a lack of respect? Ready to tell me what you want me to do differently next time?
[Wannabe life coaches note the use of provocation as a therapeutic tool]
And now. How.
How do you know they don’t respect you? Did you ask them? “Do you respect me?” Did they say “No”? Ignore their answer; you’d still be no closer to your ‘quick fix’.
The person you really need to ask is… you.
How do you know they don’t respect you? What, in their behaviour, do you use as the evidence that allows you to maintain the belief that they don’t respect you?
That behaviour, or absence of behaviour, gives you an actionable request you can make of them or work with them to prevent happening.
If you know they don’t respect you because… say… they don’t invite you to the planning meetings Then you can say “I’d like to be invited to the planning meeting because then I’ll know what’s coming and can identify spiffingly splendid risks in advance”.
[Note: It doesn’t really matter what you say as a ‘because’. You can get all tautological on them “... because then I can attend the planning meeting”. Cialdini provides examples in “Influence - science and practice” [1] that Influence doesn’t require a good reason, it just requires a reason.]
They might say “Oh, we didn’t invite you to those because we thought the work you’re doing was so important that we didn’t want to waste your time.” And then you know that you were delusional all along, and I saved you a small fortune on therapy.
Of course they might not. In which case, as well as asking myself “How?” I’ll point out that I also learned how to juggle. Nothing pulls in the respect dollar like a good three ball clawed hand cascade.
Don’t worry about payment; your tears of gratitude are payment enough.
All @ EvilTester.com
PS. always assume tears stem from gratitude.
PPS. delusions should help us not hinder us.
Q2. DEAR EVIL TESTER…
Why is there so much argument about the definition of “concurrent users” in performance testing? From Mark
Dear Mark,
The argument stems from the belief that people can’t multi-task, so the notion of a concurrent user makes no sense to some people.
It remains my fervent belief that this argument would not take place if everyone learned how to juggle.
Hope that helps you in your next non-functional requirement meeting Mark,
All @ EvilTester.com
Q3. DEAR EVIL TESTER…
How do you prevent boredom while re-testing and ensure that you are always eager to break the tested product as you were the first day you got the product? from Mostofa
Dear Mostofa,
It might sound glib, but my immediate response is to say, “Stop doing the same things you did on the first day you got the product.”
I must have a different attitude though, as I don’t really understand your situation. If someone gives you something and asks you to test it again and again and again. How do your eyes not fire up? How does your trident not tingle with delight? How could you not be eager to break the product? How is that possible?
The only time I don’t feel that way is when I’m using software that I need. For example, I’m real careful when I use bank automated teller machines. A life lesson that cost me £50 when I couldn’t afford it. True story, don’t ask, the memories still pain me to this day. When I’m using, I try very hard not to break what I assume is a ‘tested’ product.
When I’m testing. I’m not using.
But as to how? I’ll tell thou, now. And this time I’ll do it in rhyme. Because to not do so… would be a crime.
Ahem…
AS IF IT WERE THE FIRST DAY
Testing’s not besting the code they produce,
We work hard and challenge ourselves to deduce
Ever more interesting ways that we might
Have deluded ourselves into thinking “everything’s right”.
If we ever glaze over and stop observing anew
We’ll miss bugs by the dozen not by the one or the two.
So partly its fear that keeps me in focus,
Fear that somebody else will notice,
That tiny small thing of no real consequence
“How did I miss it, it makes no sense!”
There’s no time like the past. To experience time is illusion
There’s no time like the present, so I have a solution.
I stay in the now, but not in the zone,
I stay alert, with intent, and I’m not alone
All of my skills, and my models and all of my tools,
The software can’t win. I have no other rules.
I never re-test. I test and I test and I test and I test.
And now, again, as if for the first time, I will test it the best
May all your good testing dreams come true,
All @ EvilTester.com
Q4. DEAR EVIL TESTER…
How would you incorporate UAT into Scrum? From Zoe
Dear Zoe,
Scruatm? Are you just trying to trick me into writing a rude word?
How dare you,
All @ EvilTester.com
[1] – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Influence:_Science_and_Practice
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